Humans have a supernatural ability called resilience, which simply put is the ability to withstand adversity and make it through hard seasons. American of Psychological Association defines resilience as the following: “Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors.”
“However, just because we are built to make it through adversity and hard seasons does not mean that those hard seasons won't cause emotional turbulence.”
When we face adversity in our life, we are going to have to deal with things like hurt, pain, frustration, disappointment and so much more. Those heavy emotions and reactions are natural amid adversity, so there isn’t a way to avoid them. Although there may be no avoiding the natural emotional turbulence, it is important to learn balance in the midst of it.
As a licensed therapist, something that I work on with clients is learning to find the healthy balance of acknowledging the hurt but not living in it. When we can acknowledge the reality of our situation and the emotional reaction(s) that is a byproduct of it, then we have a better chance in managing the turbulence.
In all honesty finding the balance of acknowledging the hurt and living in it can be hard to do, but not impossible. Here are some things to hopefully help find that balance together:
1. allow yourself to feel the hurt (or whatever that emotion is)
We have the right to feel hurt, disappointed, angry, and the other heavy emotions that comes with the hard season. When we try to dismiss or bypass the emotional turbulence, we don’t give ourselves the ability to heal from it.
2. give yourself permion to figure out your process
Going through hard seasons can be overwhelming so we need to be kind and allow ourselves time to figure out what is going on. We tend to judge ourselves for struggling or going through hard seasons when we really need to give ourselves the permission to just figure it out.
3. surround yourself with a healthy community
When adversity strikes, we are tempted to retreat to a lonely island. The truth is, we can’t do life alone and that means we can’t find balance alone either. We need healthy community in our life to help manage and work through our hard seasons.
4. take small steps forward
Finding balance isn’t going to happen overnight, so we need to celebrate and honor the small steps forward. We also need to make sure that we don’t punish ourselves if we don’t feel like we haven’t made movement forward.
Balance is something that looks different for all of us, so the process to get there will look different as well. Be sure to also remind yourself in this season that finding balance isn't going to be easy and that is ok. There will be some days where we feel in control and have balance and then other days where we feel like we are failing miserably. In all honesty this journey of finding balance in the hurt will require patience, grace, and space. I know it isn’t easy friend, but I know that it is possible.
Until Next Time
Stasia B