Tip 6: First Date Red Flags

10/29/20

Red Flag 1: insisting on ordering your drinks & dominating the conversation
If you find that your date doesn’t allow you or give you space to order your food then that is a sign there may be some controlling behavior. Not only would you notice you aren’t able to order your own food, but that the conversation is dominated by the other person as well. So this could look like your date asking you questions but not giving you space to answer fully and cuts you off constantly. Or your date doesn’t even ask questions about you or for you to answer and they end up talking the whole time. It is ok to want someone who is confident, but they need to be confident enough to let you talk and hear who you are and what you have to offer.

Red Flag 2: rude to everyone around
To be honest, rudeness is probably one of the biggest and easiest red flags to take note of on a first date. Be mindful of the individual and how they treat others, like the servers or those who you find yourself interacting with on your date. Being rude to people isn’t funny, it's not excusable, and shouldn’t be acceptable. Remember your first date with someone is normally the time to impress someone and show them how kind and caring you are, and if your date is rude the first date that is most likely the kindest they will ever treat you, think about that…how they treat those they don’t even know will be just the standard of how they will treat you if you pursue a relationship

Red Flag 3: talks about their ex relationship often (in both a negative or positive light)
Let's first take a look how talking about the ex in a positive way can be a red flag first. So if you find that your date talks about their ex excessively in a positive way, that may be a sign they are not over or have fully healed from that past relationship. It is important to make sure that both people are healed and ready to be in relationship 100% (yes even on the first date)...that is not to say every first date is your forever love
So how is talking about your ex in a negative way a red flag, well I am glad you were wondering...so if your date talks about their ex excessively in a negative way that can be a sign they haven’t moved on on top of the fact that there may be an immaturity within them that can’t handle things in a healthy way which isn’t great.

Red Flag 4: overly romantic to the point of being uncomfortable
This is one of those where it sounds like it would be a cute thing, being really romantic, but like everything in life there needs to be balance. If you find that your date is overly reaching in trying to be romantic like suggesting taking a trip, meeting their family, even getting married (yes that really happens) during your first date then that may be a red flag. Again we are all different and we see romance differently, but if you have a gut feeling that your date is trying way too hard and being ‘a lot’ with their romantic gestures be mindful of that and trust your gut. There is a difference with being intentional and sweet and overwhelming romantic to the point of being uncomfortable.

Red Flag 5: Overly Late and Takes No Responsibility
Ok so if your date is late and doesn’t take any kind of responsibility or doesn’t even show any respect for your time, then that is a red flag. I am not saying that your date can’t be late and that being late in itself is a bad sign, but if they don’t seem to be bothered that they are not honoring your time, then that can be a sign that they may struggle in honoring other things that you present to them. This may sound miniscule and silly, but the truth is if they can honor things like our time, then that is a sign that they will be able to respect and honor other boundaries we have in our life

Red Flag 6: Inconsistent in Communication
Ok the final red flag that I want to share with you is if you notice that there is an inconsistency in your dates responses or conversation style that is something to take note of. Again, waiting to text or respond in itself is not a red flag and doesn’t mean doom. However, if you notice that your date reaches out and then seems to take days/weeks to respond and then expects a quick response from you can be a sign that they are playing a game and it is one that you will most likely lose and it just not a game that is honestly worth playing.

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© 2017 by Anastasia Brokas.