Tip 5: Red Flags in Relationships
T I P S
Red flag 1: Isolating from Friends & Family
So when we get into a relationship there is often the idea that it is just the two of you against the world, but the truth is that friends and family are part of the process (obviously within healthy boundaries) isolating from our friends family is often a form of control and should be seen as a toxic trait.
tip: if your significant other doesn't get along with any of your friends or family members then that is something to take note of and don’t just brush off
Red flag 2: Degrading Language (always being talked down to)
If you find your significant other constantly saying things like, ‘oh you’re so stupid,’ or tells thier friends, oh ‘they are just being crazy,’ and uses language like that then that is a sign of a toxic trait and is a major red flag in a relationship
tip: be mindful of the words that your significant uses to talk about you or how they describe you and treat you in front of others
Red flag 3: realizing you are completely dependent on the other person
Another red flag is realizing that you have become dependent on someone for everything. In relationship it will be important to learn how to lean on someone and let them in, however there is a big difference between leaning on and being completely dependent on in a relationship and sometimes that line can be crossed without us even knowing it
tip: make sure you maintain hobbies and things that you enjoy doing, as simple as that may be, and make them a non negotiable...this will help keep a sense of independence
Red flag 4: jealousy and easily being eagerly angered are the primary responses from your partner
So one of the most common red flags that I hear in my office is, ‘he gets mad jealous…’ when my client says this though, there seems to be no understanding of how jealousy can be a really big red flag. Again we are all human with the ability to get jealous, but if that is the common response every time then that is a major red flag. Jealousy is often seen as a way to show someone you care, but the truth is if jealousy becomes the overwhelming feeling then that will be the overwhelming doom in your relationship.
tip: if the feelings of jealousy from your significant other make you question your hanging out with friends, family or talking to a stranger than that is a red flag to take note of
Red flag 5: one has the ultimate control with no room for compromise
There is a difference between having a partner who is a strong and opinionated personality that likes to take the lead in areas they feel confident in and them being completely unwilling to compromise and see others strengths because others strengths are an insecurity of theirs. We often talk about relationships being 50/50 but the truth is they need to be 100/100 where your partner encourages you, challenges you, and loves you enough to care about your thoughts and opinions.
tip: if your opinions and thoughts aren’t being honored or respected by the person you are in relationship in then that may be a sign that your partner has some controlling traits that are major red flags
Red flag 6: you are the one saying sorry/feeling at fault all the time (no shared respect or responsibility)
Ok obviously as humans none of us are perfect so there will be days and moments where we will need to apologize and take responsibility, however in relationships if you find that you are being told that you’re at fault for everything and that you are always the one having to apologize then that is something to consider as a red flag. Oftentimes a partner who is unable to see fault in themselves and shifts the blame on to the other person, that is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
tip: be mindful of how often you are having to apologize for things and how little (or if at all) the other person is taking responsibility or apologizing, if you notice a trend of you always saying sorry then again that is a red flag